Healing at the Quantum Level: Bridging Quantum Healing and the Felt Sense

I love creating avenues for healing and expansion. Actually, I sometimes wish we’d stop calling it healing. I think I will.

I call it liberation.

Those parts of ourselves aren’t broken—they’re trapped. If you remove the one variable (a person, a situation, or a belief), what remains is wholeness. It’s not about healing. It’s about liberating the parts of ourselves that have been held hostage, whether by fear, shame, conditioning, or survival strategies.

We are both the prisoner and the jailer. And we’re holding the key to an already unlocked cell door.

The prison is perceptual.

Liberation is about traveling into those dungeons within our sacred temples and being present with those exiled parts of ourselves. Because they’re always telling the same story. It just surfaces through different, often repetitive, self-sabotaging or hindering patterns.

And all they truly need is to be listened to.

That part of you that was abused, abandoned, silenced… doesn’t need to be “fixed.”. It needs you to be with it. To show it, through your presence, that it is finally safe.

And in that safety, liberation begins.

Trauma As Energy

Trauma is energy – a whiplash of life force that never fully discharged from the body. Instead, it stays trapped in the body, looping over and over.

The more time you spend in your body, which is synonymous with presence, the more it speaks to you. 
And the more you listen, the more fluent you become. That’s when trust begins to form between you and your vessel.

This isn’t always easy, especially with deep-seated wounds we may not even consciously remember. The body is brilliant. It buries what would otherwise overwhelm us, because its job is to preserve the organism.

But eventually, for us to thrive, not just survive, we must return.

You won’t necessarily find it gets “easier.” You will simply grow more compassionate. You capacity to love will expand. And that is what makes it feel easier.

Safety in the Healing Space

When I sense a client is nervous before a session, I always:

Your body, your Records, and the medicine (if we are working with plant spirits) will never show you something you are not ready for.

You may be broken open, but only to expand. Not broken beyond repair.

So if what arises is shocking to your system, trust that it is because you are ready. Ready to process. Ready to release. Ready to close the loop.
That movement of energy is just one step towards your liberation. A shift that already occurred—on a soul level… on a quantum level. 

Your body is simply catching up.

Presence as Integration

Think about it… how many times have you gotten into your car, and the next thing you knew, you were already at your destination? You were on autopilot. Your body arrived, but your awareness wasn’t present.

That is how intelligent the body is.

But here is the truth: your body can survive without You, but it cannot thrive without You.
By “You,” I mean your I AM presence.

And yes—communing with spirit guides, remote traveling, swimming through the etheric-blue waters of Mintaka is beautiful.

But if we don’t anchor those teachings into the body…we are just floating.

Take the cosmic medicine and infuse it into your cells. Impart the soul’s wisdom to the body.

Upgrade the hardware to process the new software.

This is where neurobiology comes in.

The Felt Sense and the Nervous System

Upgrading the hardware requires one to engage the felt sense. Why? Because trauma dysregulates the nervous system, and our nervous system governs everything. It’s not just about stress.

Your nervous system affects:

–Skin health

–Digestion

–Hormones

–Muscle function

–Energy levels

–Capacity for joy and peace. 

Example: 
When the body is under chronic stress, it activates the HPA axis—a hormonal feedback loop that increases cortisol. Elevated cortisol over time leads to inflammation, which affects everything from skin flare-ups to fatigue.

Digestion is deeply tied to the vagus nerve, which connects the brain and gut. Dysregulation can cause bloating, food sensitivities, or IBS-like symptoms.

—I struggled with digestion issues from my late teens into very recent years. I saw so many different types of doctors throughout the years, and none had any idea why it was happening. It wasn’t until I started practicing energy work, which led me to somatic work, that I was able to regulate my digestion. 

The nervous system impacts your limbic system—the emotional brain. So you can bet that a dysregulated nervous system will impact the ability to regulate emotions, feel safe in your body, and experience pleasure or peace. And isn’t this what the human experience is about? To FEEL?

Practices to Engage the Felt Sense

Modalities like breath work, EFT tapping, mindful movement (Yoga, dance, Tai Chi, to name a few), and vagal stimulation retrain the nervous system.

These practices:

–Build safety into the body

–Signal that you are no longer in danger

–Allow the body to thrive rather than just survive

It’s giving the body to finally exhale.

These are practices that bridge biology and spirit. 
These tools return us to the body, so the body can remember it is safe to receive love and expand. 

These are just a few modalities among many. Find one that speaks to you, and devote time and energy to do it. I promise you, you will FEEL the knots untying.

At first, it may might feel uncomfortable because you are disrupting the very loop that’s kept you “safe.”
But soon your body will begin to recognize the release as a treat, not a threat.

It becomes as simple as pouring water into a parched mouth. Your body will want it. Because it now knows that there is a release, and exhale on the other side.

Fill your body with the same ethereal waters you bathe in when you meditate
Your soul chose to be human.
So come home.

Make your body your sanctuary, your oasis, your playground.

This was always the point.

A Note on Safety and Support

***If engaging the felt sense feels intense, redirect your awareness to something pleasant—a comforting memory, a soft texture, a safe sound. 
Go slow. You don’t have to do it all at once. And you don’t have to do it alone.

There are practicioners who are trained to walk with you through these tender thresholds. I’ve leaned on support when certain practices became too intense to process alone, and now I hold that kind of space for others, too.

If your body says yes, you will know when the time is right.

Book a 1:1 Somatic + Akashic Healing Session with Me:

Disclaimer: I am not a medical provider. I am a registered Trauma-Informed Yoga teacher and an Akashic Records Channel. What I share comes from the Akashic Records, years of study, and lived experience – both in my own journey and in client work.

This is not medical advice, but soul medicine rooted in embodied experience.
Take what resonates, leave the rest, and trust your inner guidance above all.

A few reads that have inspired the knowledge shared in this article:

The Myth of Normal — Dr. Gabor Maté
The Body Keeps the Score — Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System — Deb Dana, LCSW

Originally posted on my Substack on July 15, 2025

I Choose the Bear, Part 2

And life did go on, but it was never the same again…

Life went on. My mind blissfully forgot, but my body remembered.

Locked doors have keyholes, and keyholes have the space from which memories can trickle.

Living in the Shallow Waters of My Own Body

At the time, I didn’t know it, but I was checked out from my body. I lived in it, but only in its shallow waters. I made do.

I was surviving. I thought life was great… and on the surface, it was.

But beneath that surface, unprocessed trauma and the emotions it carried became the silent narrative of my life. The silent program running in the background.

I love love. I love to love and to be loved.

That has always been true. But that silent programming wasn’t fit to give or receive the kind of love I daydreamed about.

As I grow more comfortable sharing my full story, I’ll reveal the ways those unprocessed emotions manifested, because this unraveling was just the beginning.

At the time, I didn’t understand why I was stuck in a loop. I didn’t even realize I was on a hamster wheel. That’s how detached I was from my own humanity.

I didn’t yet know we are energy and that we attract what vibrates at the same frequency we’re emitting.

Actually, credit to 19-year-old me. I don’t remember the exact words, but I once posted on Facebook:

“If we attract who we are, and I keep attracting shitty people into my life… then am I a shitty person?”

Well, damn.

I was onto something. I just didn’t know it yet. That was a soul whisper I wasn’t ready to hear.

⸻

Therapy, Awakening, and the Records That Saved Me

In early 2021, I started talk therapy for the first time. I told my therapist I was ready to process my experience. She explained that what I had felt that night at Sports Authority was a visceral response to trauma — my mind checked out, but my body was trapped in it.

For ten months, we met weekly. She helped me connect the dots, speak my feelings instead of suppressing them, and begin nervous system regulation in ways I didn’t yet understand.

That journey came to a graceful close after my spiritual awakening. That’s when the Akashic Records became my therapist of sorts.

Through synchronicities, I found The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. I read the first chapter, then left it on my shelf for two years — until my 200-hour trauma-informed yoga teacher training assigned it.

I learned a lot. Realized a lot. Got triggered a lot.

The “online creeping” I mentioned earlier? That was my nervous system clinging to control. Hypervigilance. A survival strategy rooted in trauma. When you’ve been hurt or blindsided, the body starts scanning for threats, not out of trust, but out of fear.

⸻

Emotions are energy in motion. If they’re not felt, they’re repressed. They fester.

That visceral response at Sports Authority was my body blowing open the doors I’d locked that night.

From Mausoleum to Sacred Temple

Now, that I am more in tune with my spirituality, and realizing that I am not this body, but it is my body… I stopped treating it like a mausoleum and began revering it as a sacred temple.

I’ll skip over many stories for now, because I want to get to the happy ending.

I’ve learned the beauty of presence. The only moment that exists is now. Not two hours ago, not two hours from now. And to stay present, we must stay in our bodies.

If you’re uncomfortable in a room, you leave it.

If you’re uncomfortable in your body, you leave it — moving into your mind.

But life doesn’t happen there.

It’s my belief we’re meant to feel our way through life, not think our way through it.

⸻

The unraveling of that 2010 trauma led me down a path that wove together the spiritual, physical, and mental — my own Holy Trinity of healing.

I can do the work I do and hold the space I hold because my heart was broken… open.

When I stopped staring at the shattered pieces, I saw the spaciousness created within me. My heart broke open because I was ready to expand.

I travel — both physically and into the depths of my soul — to unshackle fragments and bring them back into the light.

The Akashic Records became my guide, showing me where emotions were stuck in my body. Then it was my choice: process and transmute, or let them fester.

Some took longer to face, and that was okay. I worked through layers of shame — shame for being defenseless, shame for blaming myself, shame for surviving in silence.

⸻

Healing is a spiral. Every time I circled back to this experience, I thought, I’ve already processed this. And I had, at that level. But each return brought me higher on the spiral, through new lenses, until the loop began to close.

Trauma is an energetic surge. Unprocessed, it loops endlessly. Closing it means sitting with the version of yourself who lived it, listening, and helping them rewrite their ending.

And that’s what I’m doing right now.

In telling this story, over and over these past weeks — I’ve been ready to listen. Ready to give myself the pen.

Now, the spiral’s tail is in sight. I’ve shared this story without emotional charge, a sign the somatic healing, therapy, spiritual work, and plant medicine ceremonies… worked.

I never let this define me.

But now I see it shaped me.

It planted a seed that sent me down the path of my healing journey. And in tending that seed, I’ve redefined who I am.

Dancing With Shadows, Returning to Light

I say this with utmost humility: The space I hold for others is unparalleled. I’m not afraid of the dark. Your shadows won’t scare me. I’ve danced with mine too many times.

The journey back to the self is one we must take alone… but not without support.

⸻

Over a decade ago, I read this quote:

“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand that too was a gift.”

I believe there is a gift in everything. Sometimes it takes years to unwrap, but it’s there.

Would I have unwrapped this sooner with steady support? Yes. That’s why I’ve devoted my life to holding space for souls ready to explore their own dark, beautiful waters.

Because once you swim past the darkness, you find the gift. You find the light.

The greatest gift of all? The journey back to myself.

And in writing this, I’m ending the spiral.

This story has left my body. The endless chatter is quiet.

A new story begins. Now.

⸻

If you are still here, thank you for your presence.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, please know:

You are not alone. Your voice matters. Your healing matters.

📞 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Free. Confidential. 24/7.

www.rainn.org

Originally posted on my Substack on 22 July 2025

I Choose the Bear, Part 1 – Surviving Silence, Finding My Voice

Not kidding… It’s 3:33 AM as I begin to write this. I found myself telling this story over and over, so I figured why not put the pen to paper and clear my mind? Then maybe sweet slumber will meet me in the space between my ears instead of these words.

This story has a happy ending. I feel guided to lead with that before I walk us through this dark, thorny part of the path I traversed to get to where I am today.

I was young and sweet, only 17, having the time of my life. I attended a house party with my close friends at that time. The guy I was dating invited me, but we met there. It was in the basement of a house that was under a 10-minute drive from my parents’ house. Music, laughter, the kind of night you don’t think twice about… until you do. Until years later, your bones remember what your mind could not.

Of course, there was booze, lots of it, and of course, I drank lots of it. I remember I wore a white dress. It almost looked like a nurse’s costume with the buttons that ran from the neckline down the length of the dress. I also remember pineapple juice. Whatever alcohol I drank was mixed with pineapple juice.

We were dancing, having a good time.

Then, it was morning.

I woke up on my friend’s couch. I was hungover, and my body was sore.

I went to the bathroom… There was blood on my underwear.

I assumed I’d had sex with the guy I was dating.

I don’t remember if it was the day after, or in the days or weeks to follow, that I learned the party we went to was a bachelor’s party… and that I was offered to the groom-to-be by the guy I was dating.

Looking back now, I believe the shame, guilt, and disgust that I felt towards myself numbed the anger, betrayal, and disgust that I should have felt towards them.

I branded myself with the scarlet letter. On a very subconscious level, I loathed myself. I felt dirty, unworthy, unlovable.

That was the programming that was running in the background. And to operate from such a place of little-to-no self-love is a recipe for self-destruction.

But I am a survivor. And because I had survived, without the tools to process what had happened, I began to destroy the very things that brought me joy. Fleeting moments. Beautiful connections. I pushed them away, not because I didn’t want them…but because some part of me believed I didn’t deserve to keep them. I destroyed everything, but not to the point of death.

I kept myself alive. Smiling on the outside…while on the inside, I felt the opposite.

I buried those feelings deep, deep inside my bones.

Out of sight, out of mind.

I don’t like the word sabotage.

It feels too conscious, too cruel.

But in hindsight, I can see how I would end things before they could end me. I pushed love away before it could prove me right about being unlovable.

Fast forward maybe four or five years. It was around the time Sports Authority was closing down their brick-and-mortar locations. I drove to the one closest to my house to take advantage of their sales. I wanted a pair of rollerblades.

I had a pair on and I was rolling down the aisles, giving them a test roll…

When I saw my abuser walking around with his daughter and his mistress, might I add.

I knew it was his mistress because, at that time, I didn’t understand why, but I had grown obsessed with him and my ex, so I would creep on their Facebook pages. Like, I had to know what they were doing. Hence why I knew that was his mistress.

We locked eyes.

My chest turned to cement.

Heat crawled up my neck.

I couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t move.

The shelves became my anchor as I dragged myself out of sight.

I had never experienced anything like that before in my life.

I remember feeling embarrassed. Like I was the one who fucked up. Because in that moment, I still believed I was at fault…for getting so drunk, for not knowing what my limit was, and for blacking out. For doing that to myself.

I mean, for fuck’s sake—a friend of mine, she was actually our DD (designated driver) that night…she tried to pull me out of the bedroom. And she was kicked out of the party.

And yet, I still felt like I was the one who did something wrong.

I thought that was the last time he would enter my life. I was wrong. He returned years later — not in person, but in headlines and hashtags.

Fast forward to the #MeToo movement. I remember reading the stories of all the brave women who came forward, and I remember saying to myself:

”Wait… that’s what happened to me. That sounds like my story!”

It wasn’t until then that I realized I had been graped. That I was a victim of sexual assault. That I had been taken advantage of when I was vulnerable.

Fuck.

So now, a whole slew of new, or maybe not new, but deeply repressed emotions began to bubble up into my chest. The sad part was that I couldn’t even fathom the thought of being a victim of SA. It almost felt worse. Because at least before, it was MY doing. It was MY choice. I overgave.

This realization meant that I had been silenced.

That MY choice was ignored and completely disregarded.

That they took. They overtook.

And somehow, that was worse.

So I buried that realization and the emotions it stirred up deeper into my bones. I locked the door and threw away the key.

And life went on…

I thought silence was safety.

I was wrong.

Part 2 is the moment I chose the bear.

⸻

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, please know: You do not have to stay silent. You are not alone. Your voice matters. Your healing matters.

There are resources available to support you:

📞 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Free. Confidential. 24/7.

https://rainn.org

This is deeply sensitive material, and if you’ve read all the way through, thank you for holding space. Thank you for witnessing this piece of my story. Thank you for honoring yours..

Originally posted on my Substack on 21 July 2025

The Most Spiritual Path: Anchoring Divinity into Humanity

A Journey of Reuniting Divinity and Humanity Through the Body

We are divine beings—yes. But the real magic?
Is in the human experience. Emphasis on human. 
We awaken to who we are… and instantly want to outrun our flesh.

But this is a gentle reminder that we chose this. This beautiful, complex, strong, yet fragile, fleshy temple. We chose to experience this reality through this body and from this body—this home we get to call our own.

I know I sound like a broken record when I say this, but I can’t emphasize it enough:
We aren’t meant to escape our humanity. The whole point of this journey is to anchor our divinity into our humanity.

Plot twist:
We are the star people who have incarnated to help humanity evolve—to transcend these denser energies. It’s been almost four years since my abrupt spiritual awakening, and I’ll admit—the greater part of my journey was spent meditating, channeling, transcending my body.

Without sugarcoating it: I was escaping.

It wasn’t until my last birthday in December, after gifting myself an Ayahuasca retreat to celebrate my Christ year—that something shifted. That experience pulled me from spiritual bypassing back into trauma-informed, body-based healing.

Grandmother Ayahuasca didn’t tell me what to do or hint at the path I’m now walking. But what she did do was show me all the pain stored in my body. Pain I thought I had meditated away, healed with divine light, and painted over with affirmations I wasn’t yet ready to embody.

When the Light Tried to Outrun the Body

And I’m not saying that I didn’t heal.

When my I AM Presence entered this body, it brought in its own core lessons—what we like to call “wounds.” 
So now, those lessons are compounded on top of the ones this vessel inherited through its lineages.

The learnings, or what we call “healing,” they registered on a soul level. 

So, yes—I did heal. But it happened on a soul level. Meanwhile, my body was telling a different story.
So now… two stories were being told at once. 
My soul was dancing. My body was still aching.

⸻

It wasn’t until much later (earlier this year) that it truly dawned on me what anchoring my divinity into my humanity actually meant—for me.

(As always: take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.)

I—my I AM Presence—have seen the light, felt it, swam in it, bathed in it. But I didn’t share much with my parched body. I thought I was living fully embodied, but it was all surface-level. Because deep down, my body still ached.

Was I spiritually gaslighting myself?

I then realized embodiment isn’t a concept; it’s daily, physical choices that either ground you and anchor you into the body, or separate you from it.

GASP!!!

⸻

It was easy to get away with it, too. Because my channel is strong. When I channel for others, the current is strong, flowing, and pure. 
So I’d tell myself I was “good.” Otherwise, how would I be able to channel like I do?

But remember earlier, when I called our human bodies complex?
They have the ability to compartmentalize. It’s so easy for me to be of service to others because I deprive myself of my own sweet medicine. But not fully, which is why I was able to get away with it for so long.

Ai’s attempt at recreating what I see when I am greeted by Grandmother Ayahuasca

The Body Keeps the Real Score

Grandmother Ayahuasca took me deep into my bones—where untold stories were finally ready to be heard. Fully. Without shame and with compassion.

So yes, I still channel. But now I channel through my fascia, my bones, my muscles, my breath—through lingering, silent aches.

Our bodies indeed keep the score. As Bessel van der Kolk explains in The Body Keeps the Score, trauma imprints on fascia and the nervous system…exactly why somatic tools matter.

When I first started consciously channeling the Akashic Records, it told me: 
It lives in the body. Passed down in our DNA. Written on the fascia.

I recently realized that in having a conversation with my body, I was talking to the universe itself!!!

(Say what!?)

⸻

Your Body the Altar

I might have lost a few of you here, but think about it…
We are light. Correct?
And we traveled into our individual bodies and “powered” them up. Correct?

Imagine a lighthouse.
The body is the structure. Your soul is the light beaming through it.
But if your windows are dirty, cloudy, the brightness and even the reach of your light will be hindered.

Anchoring divinity into our humanity starts with honoring and respecting our sacred temples, the structures. Because that’s what our bodies are.

Actually…

I’ll do you one better: Your body is your altar.
Just as we so readily and excitedly build ornate altars for benevolent light beings we call upon, we should be doing the same with our bodies.

YOU are the altar.

It won’t matter if you have fresh flowers, expensive crystals, and oils on a tapestry—if your built-in altar is covered in dust and cobwebs.

⸻

And I’m not one to judge. I see why we do it. It’s easier. It’s easier to look outward than within. And I think I’ve discovered why: Because that is where the real magic lies. And once you take a hold of it—of your essence, there is no turning back. Because being a divine creator on Earth comes with a depth of responsibility that humbles the soul and expands the heart.
Not a burden, but a sacred honoring. A choosing to live in alignment with the power you now remember you hold.

⸻

Why We Avoid the Real Magic

I know why it took me so long to get deep into the nooks and crannies, to clear the dust. It was scary and painful to remember. 
But my body recently told me something—I don’t need to remember the why or the how in order for her to close that loop.

All she needs from me… is presence. 
My presence reminds her that she is safe. She is in the present moment— in the now, and not stuck in the loop.

Closing the Loops

And these days, presence looks different.
It looks like:

• Honoring my sleep cycles

• Nourishing with foods that support hormonal balance and emotional stability

• Moving my body with the intention of regulating my nervous system, not overriding it

• Tending to the sacred intelligence of my system through breath work, through tapping, through full-body shakes, through complete stillness

These somatic practices are how I maintain coherence between my humanity and my divinity. This is how I clean the altar that allows me to channel, create, and serve from wholeness.

Because my altar isn’t just a place I visit. It’s the vessel I live in. It’s the vessel I stay present in. 

And the way I care for it on a deep cellular level determines how fully I can show up.
In light. In leadership. In service. 

But most importantly, for myself. 

For the Little Girl Who Dreamed of Freedom
The one who used to imagine a life where her softness was safe. Where her voice wasn't too much. Where her body wasn’t a battlefield, but a sanctuary. Where play was sacred. Where laughter was medicine. Where she danced barefoot through fields and spoke to the sky, because she knew it was listening.

She is my why. She is my anchor. She is my greatest teacher. And she lives in my body.

These wounds, these lessons, were never punishments. They were initiations. Invitations. Portals into remembrance.

And I… the student… have finally become ready to receive her teachings. Not from a book, not from the ethers, but from within me. From her.

She is proof that this path works.
Because embodiment isn’t a trend. It’s the transmission.

Circa 1995, somewhere in San Diego, CA

This story, my story—is the signal.
The frequency that calls in those who are ready to remember themselves, too. To tend to their own inner child, and to meet that child not with control or criticism, but with curiosity and utmost reverence.

So if you ask me?

The greatest spiritual journey you can embark on, here on Pachamama, is a very human experience.

Originally posted on my Substack on 7 July 2025